This is not my ceiling
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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