kristin has been a bad kristin
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
