I'm jealous of your bromance
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
