We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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