Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the condom got lost in my hair
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
