I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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