All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
