Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
