just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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