and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize