I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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