I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
