I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
