on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
