On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
