can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want to have your abortion
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think i have two assholes
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
