just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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