I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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