break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
