I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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