Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My bed smells like the plague
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