I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
