should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
