so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She needs sedatives and a leash
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
