They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize