You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
