You're completely useless in the revolution.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Randomize
