69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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