I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i now understand why vodka
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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