Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
