In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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