So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Walk of Shame today included voting.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
