I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize