I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want nice things and good sex
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
