Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
