well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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