Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
