was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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