How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
