I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
