Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
