I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
