cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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