just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Pooping to opera.
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