just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
