told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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