Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
