just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
