Can Purell be used as lube?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize