Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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