i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
how does that bad decision feel?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
