Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
