Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have aggressive nipples.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
