sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
