If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Randomize
