She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
