In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
