Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
