just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
