Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she smelled like a LAN party
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
